Evening Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Plan
Late-night's prominent hosts spent the broadcast criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.
The Late Show's Pointed Spin
Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas song about the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils everything he handles."
Colbert's target was the controversial initiative that allows foreign individuals to buy U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" version for 5 million. A government website promises approval "in record time."
"One message here to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.
He noted that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wanting to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – if it's the a specific Marriott," he said.
"The best screening the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals truly are eligible to be in America."
"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique
On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."
"This is a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."
"It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.
Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the form, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."
"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues
On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings amid economic anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.
Recently, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.
"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."
"He is so fucking weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"
Meyers finished by mocking right-leaning media defenses of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.
